Thursday, January 07, 2016

#PlayBackTheMoney! - Zuma’s $675 Million Gamble!

Dear Mr Zuma,

This morning while I was having a very nice black, green and yellow “#ZumaMustFall” sticker stuck to my car I overheard the news that the US Powerball Lottery Jackpot had reached a world record of $675 Million USD!

Yes, that a big number and it gets even bigger when you translate it into African.

At the current exchange rate (don’t quote me as it seems to be more active than your presidential blunders) is approximately: R10,857,138,750 ZAR… or Ten, Eighty hundred and fifty seventy million, One hundredty and three and  eight thousand, and Seven hundred and fifty thousand…

To put this into a more understandable language, you could:
  1.  #PayBackTheMoney - then Julius would have no choice but to go back to chanting: "Kill the Boer..." and twitter would lose a hash tag.
  2.  You could also pay for your own presidential jet and twitter would lose yet another hashtag: #ZumaJetMustFall 
  3. You would even  have enough left over to buy a further 43 Nkandla’s... keep 1000 milk bearing cows and produce 1 millionty liters of milk from them each day. But please remember to feed them.
  4. Why not buy 4 more jets #ZumaWivesMustFly (and twitter will gain a new hashtag). 
  5. You could even afford to support an additional 50 wives over the next 20 years without burdening the tax payer however I think Twitter will gain yet another hashtag: #BadCookingMustFall
Anyway, this jackpot is truly remarkable, and I am sure you and your cronies have scheduling a conference call with your buddy Barack to find out what #BarackBackHander gets for allowing such a game to take place outside his kraal.

So what do you think of my new hash tag? I know you have so many already, not all of them flattering, but I like to think this one has a ring to it: #PlayBackTheMoney. Not only is it simple, but it is fun too. You get to gamble on something other than the SA economy and if you win, you are paid a huge some of cash and no one had to be bribed!

And if you lose, no one will lose their life savings. So everyone is happy!

All you have to do is pick 5 lucky  numbers from a pool of: 1 - 69, then 1 number from a pool of 1 - 26. If you guess them right, the money is yours to keep, easy!

And the odds are in your favour, you have a one in Two hundred, twenty, thousand and thousand chance of winning. Thats nothing, right?

And to prove you have a chance, there is this lady called Gloria McKenzie who won $590 million recently and she is 84 . You are, what ten years younger? which means you have at least a 10 times better chance of winning…

So you are probably wondering how to pick your numbers?

Now this is the easy part, take the date of birth of your wives, children,  special anniversary dates, memorable moments and you are set.

1. Your Birth date is approximately:  12, 04, 1942 (so: 12, 04, 19, 42)
2. You have more or less 4 wives (unless you visited Vegas with Barack recently) (so: 04)
3. Children: approximately 20 - 30 (so: 20, 25, 30)

From this, the ancestors tell me that your: #PlayBackTheMoney numbers are: 04, 12, 19, 30, 42 and bonus: 20

Of course you are free to take the above formula and work your own magic on it, maybe the date you got off your corruption charges or the time you took a shower?

What ever you choose the final part is to buy your tickets.

You could call your buddy Barack to nip down to the local to buy your lucky numbers but he may not #PayBackTheMoney if you win...

On the other hand, you could simply visit:

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